Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
