He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
