she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
