yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
