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• (514): View more from Quebec

  i'm home, then i'll come over

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa

  (514): View more from Quebec

  nvm.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  why?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  "YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.

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• (949): View more from California

  If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Don't get into any trouble on your trip

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds

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• (904): View more from Florida

  We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.

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