Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
