Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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