I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My vagina just recognized that song.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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