If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize