Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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