So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I want her autograph on my taint
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
