i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
