what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
