he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
