Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
