Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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