the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The beer is more important than you right now.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
