Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
