Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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