It's Friday. Sex?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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