you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
