Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
