its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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