You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
