wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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