I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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