it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
do nipples grow back?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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