in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
