Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
