he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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