If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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