Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
