yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
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Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
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I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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