Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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