did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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