And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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