I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
