If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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