I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
