She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We talked him into tasing himself.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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