No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
