I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
