I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize