so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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