I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
