Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize