wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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