So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
