atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i think my cat just said my name.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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