Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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