i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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