i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
