Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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