he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize