i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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