so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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