Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I forget how to act sober
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