can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
