her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize