On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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