I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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