So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We need to rekindle our bromance
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
