so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
