Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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